Jens Lepa - The Transition Plan

It's not everyday that you get to have a full three hour, sit down interview.  It's even more rare with a member of the elected executive.  I consider myself fortunate.

Here is the unfiltered interview:


BLOG:  Good afternoon Jens, thanks for taking time to talk directly to the League through this interview.
Jens:   Hi.

BLOG:  Anything you want to say off the top?
Jens:   Nope.

BLOG:  Okay then, off we go!  How many championships have you won?
Jens:   None.

BLOG:  Alright, any team highlights you want to relate from over your many years?
Jens:   No.

BLOG:  Hmmmm .... Any personal highlights then?
Jens:   None.

BLOG:  Is there any truth to the story that you left the Gruesome Devils because of Steve DeLands love of the metric system?
Jens:   No.

BLOG:  Jens.  What's the deal?  This is supposed to be a conversation.  Back and forth.  What's with the one word answers?
Jens:   I know how you work, I'm not falling into your trap.

BLOG:  Trap?
Jens:   Who's giving one word answers now?

BLOG:  Geez Jens.  What trap are you talking about?
Jens:   The trap where you trick people into saying something that makes them sound stupid or mean or uniformed.  I remember the old BLOG.  I know how you operate.

BLOG:  Wow.  Swear to god, that's not my intention.
Jens:   Fine, I'll play along for a little bit and see where goes.

BLOG:  Good, thank you.  Now, how do you spell vacuum?
Jens:   SEE!!!!

BLOG:  Dude, it was joke!  For the love of god, settle down.
Jens:   Okay, okay, okay.

BLOG:  Let's get back on track.  Let's forget past stuff, what's your focus for this year.
Jens: Well, to be honest, I have a lot to do off the field and that's going to occupy a lot of my time.  It's a ton of new stuff that I'm really excited to get involved with.  And on the field, I just want to be the best player that I can be.


BLOG: See?  That wasn't so hard.  That was a great answer.  You can stop sweating now. 
Jens: Sorry, maybe I was just a little nervous.  I'm better now. 

BLOG: So let's talk a little about the "on-field" version of Jens.  What are you specifically working on to make your game better?
Jens:   Well I don't want to give too much away, because if people know what I'm working on they might figure some things out before we get started playing.

BLOG:  Fair enough, I hadn't considered that.  Could you speak in generalities maybe?
Jens:  I guess.  It's just about being the best that you can be, you know what I mean?

BLOG:  Hmmm.  Sort of, still a little vague though. 
Jens:  I don't know.  How do I describe it.  Okay, like I'm a fly ball hitter, right?

BLOG:  You certainly are. 
Jens:   So it doesn't make sense for me to put in work trying to hit the ball on the ground, see?  That would be like relearning a whole new thing.  The key is to take what I'm already good at, like hitting the ball in the air, and getting better at it. 

BLOG:  I see what you mean.  So take an attribute and super-excel at it. 
Jens:  Exactly. 

BLOG:  And you've started already on this?
Jens:   Yes I have. 

BLOG:  And how has it been going?
Jens:   First off, I have to thank Dave Storms.  He's been taking me to the batting cage and offering some hitting instruction that has been amazing. 

BLOG:  Cool, I didn't know Dave was a hitting coach. 
Jens:   Superb.  You have no idea. 


BLOG:  What results have you seen?
Jens:   Well you know how I have hit my fair share of lazy fly balls for outs over the years?

BLOG:  Yes, I kinda count on them. 
Jens:   Not anymore. 

BLOG:  Uh-oh.  New and improved 2.0 version of Jens?
Jens:   You bet, no more lazy fly balls for me.

BLOG:  So what are we going to see from you in 2020?
Jens:   A tighter, more compact swing, shorter stride, hips clearing early and a dramatic upper cut in my swing. 

BLOG:  WOW!  I had no idea you were so technical about your swing. 
Jens:   In fairness, it's all Storms, I've learned a lot from him. 

BLOG:  So all these adjustments are working out?
Jens:   To be honest, I looked like a fish out of water for a while, but now it's second nature.  My swing is exactly where I want it right now. 

BLOG:  Good for you.  Now how is that going to translate to production this season?
Jens:  As I said, no more lazy fly balls.  My fly balls will be towering, majestic moon shots.  Things of beauty my friend. 

BLOG:  So some home runs and a bunch of balls off the fence?
Jens:   No, no, no.  Pretty much all fly ball outs. 

BLOG:  Huh?
Jens:  Yeah, beautiful, arcing, soaring fly ball out.

BLOG:  I don't understand. 
Jens:  What's not to understand?  Anyone can hit a fly ball.  I want to hit the BEST fly balls.  When I retire from this league, I want today's players to talk to rookies of the future about my fly balls.  My mind blowing, lofty, sublime fly balls. 

BLOG:  Adjectives aside, and let me say that your descriptors are great, why would you bother practicing making outs?
Jens:   Dear god.  They aren't JUST outs.  They're magnificent, grandiose, superb outs. 

BLOG:  But why?
Jens:  Do you watch baseball?


BLOG:  A little. 
Jens:   Do you know that my exit velocity has increased by 23%?  That's wicked crazy. 

BLOG:  Dude.  They're fly balls.  What are they "exiting" exactly?
Jens:  They're exiting the troposphere!

BLOG:  The what?
Jens:  That's the first layer of the atmosphere. 

BLOG:  Nice.  Did you learn that from Storms too?
Jens:   Nope, learned that at SAUCY camp when I was 7 years old.

BLOG:  Well now I have to ask .... what is SAUCY
Jens:  Swedish Aeronautics Universal Cosmic Youngsters. 

BLOG:  Of course you did. 
Jens:   Anyway, my exit velocity ...

BLOG:  .... to nowhere ....
Jens:  .... is off the charts right now.  And my launch angle?  Don't even get me started. 

BLOG:  I don't understand why you care about launch angle.
Jens:   Dude, my launch angle has gone from 10.5 degrees to 11.7 degrees.  Do you know what that equates to?

BLOG:  1.2 degrees?
Jens:   No.  Well, ya, but no.  It equates almost 40 feet of extra height on my fly balls, and you know what that means. 

BLOG:   Fly ball outs. 
Jens:   No.  MAJESTIC fly ball outs. 

BLOG:  Okay, you have fun with this.  I'm glad to see that you're putting work in that will have no bearing on your game, but if it makes you happy then it's all good. 
Jens:  You'll see the results.  My outs will be the talk of the Legion. 

BLOG:  This has gone plenty far enough.  How are you liking being on the elected executive. 
Jens:   It's great, good group of guys, everyone giving a 110%, taking it one day at a time of our course. 

BLOG:  Holy.  That sounded more than a little rehearsed. 
Jens:   Not rehearsed at all, I just can't give away state secrets.  There's a lot of stuff we work on that I have to keep guarded and if there's a leak, it ain't gonna me.  Nope, I'm just going about my day to day tasks, keeping my head on a swivel, putting the work in, starting on time, keeping the pucks down low and not being afraid to go to the greasy areas.   

BLOG:  I think you rehearsed from the wrong sport. 
Jens:  Whatever.  You know what I mean. 

BLOG:  Surprising, I don't have a clue.  That being said, let's talk about these secrets. 
Jens: Honestly I can't.  Wish I could, but that's off limits.

BLOG:  Gimmie a hint.  Is it about rules?  Teams?  Discipline?  Finances?  I don't need details, just a clue.
Jens:   Oh My God, you're gonna get me in trouble.

BLOG:  Tiny, tiny, tiny hint. 
Jens:   Okay.  Well ..... [whispers]  there has been some talk about maybe ... adding another team. 

BLOG:  That's your state secret?  Piellusch put out an email to the league about that a week ago.  He explained the advertising campaign and even had a call for new captains. 
Jens:  Shhhhh .... I'm pretty sure that the captain thing is top secret. 

BLOG:  Definitely not.  Public knowledge.   
Jens: For sure?

BLOG:  For sure. 
Jens:   Do you know about C1 getting lights?

BLOG:  Ya.  I may have been somewhat involved in that. 
Jens:  Oh.  Well do you know about pitchers being restricted from between 55 and 65 feet from the plate?

BLOG:  Been that way since 1986
Jens:   I see.  Did you know about Brad Young coming back to the league?

BLOG:  Yes.  That was made public at the playoff tournament. 
Jens:   Did you know Bev Steeves resigned as president of the ladies league. 

BLOG:  Also yes. 
Jens:   So you know about Emeil Edwards and the cheating scandal?

BLOG:  What?
Jens:   Ummmmm.  Emeil Edwards and his heated sandals. 


BLOG:  Not what you said. 
Jens:  Hey, Kovalchuk is on fire for the Habs, eh?

BLOG:  What did Emeil do?
Jens:  4 points in his last 4 games!

BLOG:  Is Emeil in serious trouble?  Possible suspension?
Jens:  And who would have guessed that he'd be a +4 on top of it?

BLOG:  Is Emeil working with someone or is this a stand alone thing?
Jens:  And at 36 years old he's playing over 20 minutes a game.  Amazing!

BLOG:  Is there an investigation?  Did someone report him?  Is there video?  Does this go further than Emeil?  Are other people on the Sons Of Pitches involved?
Jens:   Okay, so I have to go now, but it's been a pleasure! 

BLOG:  Jens, the public has a right to know!
Jens:   I'm leaving, but there might be a reason why Andy Gee is in the finals every year. 

BLOG:  Sir Andrew Gee?  Say it ain't so Jens!
Jens:   Dammit.  I've said to much, I'm outta here. 


Clearly a followup on Emeil and last season's SOP team is pending.  This will take some digging, perhaps a game of poker and some undercover work.  But the truth will definitely come out.

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